I understand your fears, I comprehend your anticipation. No one likes to go to the Doctor incase they find something wrong. Though didn’t you think if they had found something, they could have dealt with it? Who knows how long you suffered in silence. What symptoms you felt but kept them to yourself. Because that […]
Hello rejection, its been a while, has it? I forget, I tend not to recall our encounters, you understand. A record for me though, rejected twice in one week. The mental health team have discharged me from their service, mid treatment I may add. I was halfway through DBT, when my therapist leaves and I […]
Tired of broken promises. Tired of well wishes. Tired of being left behind. Tired of out of sight, out of mind. I am tired of being alone. Tired of giving my all. Tired of feeling the fall. Tired of making sacrifices. Tired of the unwanted surprises. I am tired of being alone. Tired of being […]
Most of the time, my mind is blank, vacant and dead. I can imagine just an expansion of dark nothing that spans across my forehead. I feel very little other than sorrow. I am in a deep mourn of something I have long forgotten I lost or even had to begin with. Excitement is lost […]
March 2022, a message popped up in the WhatsApp group for the people that live in my building, requesting this… “Hello’ totally random question … but does anyone know anyone who would want to adopt a cat? I’ve old and very loving and calm, it’s my sisters but she can’t have pets where she is […]
I had a full shift at one of my new jobs. I can’t pretend it went well, I can’t say I enjoyed it, I knew that I didn’t want the job. I can’t say its because my heart wasn’t in it because I need my heart to be in it at this point. I have […]
We meet again WordPress. It seems I only come here when I have no room left inside of me to store the toxin waste that are my thoughts and feelings. I said that I was ready for help, and after a year of waiting I was put on the list and now have a care […]
Dear No one, It’s me again, spouting words that you will never hear. Though even if I did tell you, I know you wouldn’t listen. I am in that place again. That place you don’t want to know about or visit. Though I can’t blame you for the latter really. I wouldn’t choose this as […]
Perhaps I should stop listening to people. “Yes, you should move back to be nearer your family. Yes it will help your mental health”. “So what if you are being ripped away from the few actual friends that you have, that took you 35 years to find. So what if you are being ripped from […]
I am in the beginnings of being swallowed by the darkness. I am out of the denial phase and into the slow realization that it’s too late. My fingertips are crooked so bad that my bones are stiffened into a constant hooked state of just holding onto the edge of the back of the large […]
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