I understand your fears, I comprehend your anticipation. No one likes to go to the Doctor incase they find something wrong. Though didn’t you think if they had found something, they could have dealt with it? Who knows how long you suffered in silence. What symptoms you felt but kept them to yourself. Because that was you. The strong one, the head of the family. The one we all turned to when we needed advice. Well now where do we go? You left us behind. Mum is hiding it well, siblings have their own families and distractions. I don’t have that so much. I am sorry for all the times I wasn’t a good daughter, I am sorry for resenting you when actually you are the best father. I am sorry that I used to refer to you as the sperm donor. Though you never knew that. I am thankful we had these last 5 years to make amends. I am so lucky to have you as my dad.

I always thought that I could cope as long as I didn’t lose mum, and while I know that is true, I did not foresee the agony that would befall losing you. To not even have answers, you just did what you do, in your own way, in your own style. Leaving us to piece together the puzzle of your passing. They will want to do a post mortem. Tamper with you before we can have you back to say goodbye. Who knows what they will find wrong with you… I smile now sometimes, as bittersweet as it is, at just how simple you were, and how simple you liked life to be. I like to think I am the same. And I am not ready to lose you yet. You were supposed to be here to look after Mum. But don’t worry Dad, we’ll look after Mum for you. We will make you proud. You rest now.