There are no shortcuts because there is no end—

 Kyuzo Mifune

 

No matter what I do in life, whether it be at work, or at home, something as simple as transferring old numbers into a new phone. There are no shortcut for me.

The phone company will say oh yes your numbers will just magically transfer onto your new device when you turn it on. And because I don’t believe this. I spend the next two hours painstakingly copying numbers down onto a piece of paper, reading and rereading again and again because I am dyslexic when it comes to numbers and I don’t see them very well, or I get lost in a long sequence of numbers that I lose my place.

Anyway, so I then have this list of numbers, then when I turn my phone on. Yes, the numbers did transfer like magic. BUT if I hadn’t have written down each number I can guarantee I would lose every number on my list.

When I used to work 4 nights a week, it would push me into overtime each week, so every week I would have to input 3 measly hours of overtime into the computer at work each week or lose it. Just because I was contracted 37 hours a week and not 40.

 

Now I only work 30 hours a week so I don’t have to do that anymore, unless I pick up the overtime.

 

When I go somewhere, I don’t drive, I walk or take a bus or a train. I don’t have the greatest sense of direction. I rely on google maps a lot to direct me where I need to go. Mostly because I don’t like going places, I go to work, then I come home and I go to the supermarket and sometimes I go swimming, but that is it.  It’s cool having a GPS in your pocket. But ya know when it starts, I don’t always know which way I am supposed to go, it doesn’t say turn back, or walk forward. So I end up walking a ways and watching to see where the little arrow goes so then I know which direction I am moving in and if it’s the right way. Once I know I am on the right track it’s okay.

 

I ordered something online in February. It arrived to me damaged, I am finally sending it back but because I have no printer I had to call my mum, have her print out the shipping labels and have her snail mail them to me. She said she mailed them on Wednesday with first class postage. It’s Saturday, the mail has not come and the delivery guys are due at some point today to pick up the item. Of course I have no idea what time they are arriving. And I don’t know what time the mail comes. But it’s a race between postman and delivery men.

I have to sit downstairs all day while I wait. I don’t like this, I feel exposed and it’s odd. The anxiety levels are high. I am sat down here in the exposed elements where my landlady (T) and the other lodger (K) could just walk by. I am praying the mailman comes first. If not this package will have to sit down here until Tuesday thanks to bank holidays and reduced postal workers. Which means I have to do this all over again.

And I don’t really want to have to say to T .. “Yeah sorry, that package will have to sit down here for another 2 days. Sorry.

I just want to be back upstairs in my bubble. Where nothing and no one can penetrate unless I give the permission for it to do so.

There are no shortcuts in life. I am not asking for a shortcut however, I am just asking for straightforward. My English used to tell me that I write beautifully, I express myself well and descriptively. Though I don’t need to go around the houses and up the stairs, then back down and out the garden and down the next 3 streets just to arrive at my point and destination. And that is all I ask.

 

imprinted